Stephen Hart (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} onceaprotector) wrote,@ 2011-01-19 21:19:00 |
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8.1 -- Fragile connection
I've never made good choices regarding women, not once in my life. The affair with Helen, asking Abby out in a delirium, helping Helen... and probably a thousand other, smaller choices. I'm used to this. It's just a part of me.
It took nearly losing Abby to make me realize that she loved me.
It took nearly losing Abby to realize just how badly I'd hurt her.
I was ready to lay my life down to save everybody. The way I saw it, it was the only thing to do. And in some secret part of me, I hoped to make amends for things. I fought with Nick, hit him, and before I could make a move, Abby was dragging Helen into the room.
I can't even begin to articulate the sheer terror I felt in that moment. Not at the idea of Helen's death -- by then, I'd finally realized just how far gone she was -- but at the idea of Abby's. This fierce, beautiful woman had just sacrificed herself in the name of taking an enemy down.
I lost it. Screaming for her, banging on the door, terrified tears threatening to spill. And then Nick came to. Understandably, I wasn't his favorite person at the moment. But getting into that room... getting Abby out... was more important. And we managed it. Somehow, defying logic, we got back in and pulled Abby out.
She was hurt. Badly. I was convinced that I was about to lose her. And so, with Abby bleeding in my arms, I realized two things. I realized that she loved me and I loved her in return.
It took Abby three months to recover from her injuries enough to resume a normal life. During those three months, we started forging a relationship. It wasn't easy, wasn't always enjoyable, but we struggled through the hard parts and came out the other side with something beautiful and tenuous and fragile.
We have a life together now. A damn happy one. Nothing worth doing right is ever easy. I am happy with her, and I hope she is happy with me.
Helen is gone, but she still haunts our lives. She haunts them a little less every day, though.
Muse: Stephen Hart
Fandom: Primeval
Word Count: 363
I've never made good choices regarding women, not once in my life. The affair with Helen, asking Abby out in a delirium, helping Helen... and probably a thousand other, smaller choices. I'm used to this. It's just a part of me.
It took nearly losing Abby to make me realize that she loved me.
It took nearly losing Abby to realize just how badly I'd hurt her.
I was ready to lay my life down to save everybody. The way I saw it, it was the only thing to do. And in some secret part of me, I hoped to make amends for things. I fought with Nick, hit him, and before I could make a move, Abby was dragging Helen into the room.
I can't even begin to articulate the sheer terror I felt in that moment. Not at the idea of Helen's death -- by then, I'd finally realized just how far gone she was -- but at the idea of Abby's. This fierce, beautiful woman had just sacrificed herself in the name of taking an enemy down.
I lost it. Screaming for her, banging on the door, terrified tears threatening to spill. And then Nick came to. Understandably, I wasn't his favorite person at the moment. But getting into that room... getting Abby out... was more important. And we managed it. Somehow, defying logic, we got back in and pulled Abby out.
She was hurt. Badly. I was convinced that I was about to lose her. And so, with Abby bleeding in my arms, I realized two things. I realized that she loved me and I loved her in return.
It took Abby three months to recover from her injuries enough to resume a normal life. During those three months, we started forging a relationship. It wasn't easy, wasn't always enjoyable, but we struggled through the hard parts and came out the other side with something beautiful and tenuous and fragile.
We have a life together now. A damn happy one. Nothing worth doing right is ever easy. I am happy with her, and I hope she is happy with me.
Helen is gone, but she still haunts our lives. She haunts them a little less every day, though.
Muse: Stephen Hart
Fandom: Primeval
Word Count: 363